I listened to Gala Darling’s Australian events recently, and she spoke some immortal words: What would your ideal self do in this situation? Now go do it. How delicious! This simple piece of advice sent chills down my spine.
This really got me thinking about all the times I act in a way that is contradictory to what I want in the long run. All the browsing I’ve done online, all the time I’ve convinced myself that I have writer’s block when, really, I know that I’m just insecure about making myself visible to others.
So I got to know my ideal self a little bit. Naturally, self knows herself and where she wants to go. She also knows what’s best for her, especially if others contradict her. She is not a people-pleaser, but she is generous and generally delightful.
Thus far, I’ve been asking myself this question for fairly mundane things, such as how I spend my downtime and the way I act in social situations. My ideal self has proved to be more motivated than I am, as well as less anxious. She also makes a great smoothie.
The ideal self is not to be confused with the fantasy self. The fantasy self is often impractical, greedy and willing to do all the things – particularly the things that your ideal self knows are ridiculous or even harmful. This construction usually leaves us feeling burnt out, committed to things we don’t like and, in my case, broke. My fantasy self has the wardrobe of a socialite and loads of quirky vintage furniture that no one ever uses.
In minimising the amount of stuff I have, I know that I will be escorting my fantasy self (lovingly) out the door, along with all her baggage. Perhaps she’ll take up residence in some Parisian garret, hosting parties for artist friends and enjoying those heels she can’t walk in. This is to make way for my ideal self, who would rather like a larger space to do yoga and hates being confronted with clothes she doesn’t wear.
My ideal self is also a woman of independent means. I’m rather looking forward to her telling me how to accomplish that for her.